


Let Me Go (Please Don't)

by williamastankova



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Character Development, Developing Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Holding Hands, Just Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 23:17:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17212715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/williamastankova/pseuds/williamastankova
Summary: Steve and Billy have special rules about hand holding, and kissing. Because it's nothing serious, it's just sex, and there's no feelings there whatsoever...Right?





	Let Me Go (Please Don't)

It wasn't them. This... whatever it was, it wasn't them. Since the first time, they'd both clarified it was just sex. When they struck out with others, their luck running dry, they could come over, and take out their frustration - could get what they needed - from each other. Once they were done, they'd dress, and they'd leave. They had rules, of course: they could kiss, but they wouldn't linger for too long. And, most of all, they couldn't ever hold hands. They both agreed that, above all, this was the ultimate intimacy. Sex meant nothing if there were no feelings, and letting someone so close as to hold your hand was a complete no-go. This said, that didn't mean slip-ups didn't happen, and there were a few notable occasions that Steve could think of...

He liked to think the first was just coincidental. It was the evening of some Friday night, Steve couldn't really recall much, but they had finished up and all but collapsed, falling asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows. This, albeit a little unusual, wasn't concerning. A lot had happened that week, and so it was natural for them to feel tired. The oddness came, however, when Steve awoke in the middle of the night, to find a soundly-sleeping Billy beside him. Feeling suddenly cold, Steve made to move to pull the blanket up over them, which had for some reason fell to the foot of his bed. When he did this, he felt a barrier, preventing him from completing his action. He wasn't frozen stiff, nor did he have arthritis, so why could his hand not move from his side?

Casting a look down, Steve caught sight of his hands - no, their hands, because they were intertwined now, cosily nestled against Billy's warm core. For a moment, Steve was reluctant to pull away, but then forced his fingers out of the lock, a little shocked, and sat up to do what he had intended to do in the first place. Now, though, he had developed a new chill in his spine, and he had nothing to blame it on now.

Running a hand through his long, matted hair, he willed himself to sleep and forget about whatever had just happened, as it wasn't anything. And so he forgot.

**

Steve's memory was a little clearer on the next one, seeing as he was mainly sober and not at all sleep-deprived at the time.

Billy had had him: Steve was at home, and a knock came at the door. With a sixth sense clueing him into what stood on the opposite side, Steve wasn't so surprised to find Billy when he opened the door, but was still admittedly a little impressed with how suavely he was pinned against the nearest wall and trapped in a hungry kiss. He'd barely had time to close the door before he felt Billy's hands roaming him, starting over his jeans, brushing across his legs, and diverting to under-the-shirt rib strokes, until Billy tucked his hands under Steve's thighs and hoisted him up. The latter let out an involuntary noise that he silently prayed Billy was too distracted to notice, because it was more than a little embarrassing.

Billy wasted little time kissing him, however, as he adhered to their rules. In next to no time, they were in Steve's room, and then on his bed. Steve felt his clothing being shedded, so he automatically reached for Billy's shirt buttons, only vaguely aware of the beaming grin stretched across his face. He failed to unbutton the top button twice, which broke Billy's mysterious, sexy aura.

"C'mon, Harrington," surnames were also a method they used to distance themselves from the intimacy of the situation, "You've done this before."

Though Steve knew he was kidding, there was a dull tone in his voice - not dull, _husky_  - that sent a shot of electricity pulsing through his veins. Billy pulled back from him, leaving him sat up on the bed alone, without his shirt and jeans. Then, the blond boy began stripping himself without even looking down at where his fingers were working. His tongue ran over his plumped bottom lip seductively, and Steve knew he should be disappointed, because it looked like Billy had done this so many times before, but he couldn't quite manage it. Instead, he remained mesmerised as he witnessed the man before him undressing further, until he was as bare as his partner. Then, he crawled back on top of Steve, still smirking, and pecked him again before laying a hand on his shoulder and lowering his back to the bed.

Steve, just a little nervous as always, reached his arms around Billy's shoulders, and his fingers found a place in the heat-radiating skin there. Billy, on top of him, looked down, and held his gaze for a beat, then leaned to kiss him once more.

One.  
Two.  
Three.  
Four.  
Five.  
Six...  
Seven..?

In fact, even after Steve lost count of the seconds Billy kissed him for, they kissed for longer. And longer. It got to the point where Steve wasn't sure if they were fusing, or something else dreadfully wrong, because it was taking so long and Billy was drawing it out for so long. Briefly, he considered that time itself had frozen, but then was quickly proven wrong when Billy moved. In one smooth motion, one of the hands Steve had put onto Billy's back was removed, and set to lay on the firm mattress. Then, fingers threaded through his, and he suddenly found it increasingly hard to breathe.

Unable to find a fight within him, he simply let his hand be held, but he most definitely didn't flex into the touch. Any tightening of his fingers around Billy's was the result of a spasm, and so he couldn't be held responsible. And yes, when Billy ran his thumb purposefully along his own he did happen to release a noise similar to a whimper and buck up needily, but those two things weren't directly related. Actually, now he thought about it, there was undeniably no correlation, and besides, it didn't really matter because when he came back to his body, Billy was releasing him and preparing for what was to come.

It was sex. This was sex - just sex.

**

Steve hated seeing Billy like this.

He'd had another fight with Neil, only this time things had appeared to go further. From what little he'd gathered from Billy's brief outline, Neil had called him some slur or made an imaginative assortment of derogatory remarks towards him, and when Billy mindlessly retorted, Neil snapped, grabbing him by the hair and reaching for nearby scissors. Thankfully (well, so Steve thought, considering what could have happened in the heat of the moment), Neil made only a quick swipe at Billy's locks, but managed to cut off a substantial chunk of his hair.

This, in a nutshell, was why they were here, in Steve's bathroom, electric razors in their hands. Billy cast a look over to him, and let his mouth curl up a little when he found Steve already looking at him. Nodding, they wordlessly agreed to turn on the devices, and then look at their own heads. Almost in unison, they ran the razors through their hair, and felt simultaneously powerful and terrified in the moment. Nervously, Billy stopped, but Steve began to laugh and went in for another swipe, watching as his hair fell to the floor in a satisfying clump.

They continued like this until all that remained of their previous manes was the hairs sprouting from their scalps. Switching the devices off, they found it hard to speak, until Steve decided they didn't have to. The power was once again theirs (and, more importantly, Billy's) and nothing and no one could tell them what to do ever again.

Triumphant, Steve's brain clouded over, and he reached out for Billy's hand. Thinking back, he couldn't imagine why he thought it was a good idea, because the shock on Billy's face as their palms came into contact was so unlike him. Guiltily, Steve swallowed, unable to look away from Billy's searching eyes. They remained at a stand still for a moment, until Billy pulled his hand back and forced his eyes to the mirror, beginning speaking about his hair or other. Steve, trying to act normally, followed this lead, but couldn't stop himself from casting his eyes to the reflection in the mirror, which was not his own.

**

Here it is. The end of the world, again, except not really. To be brief, they're in a situation in which Steve can't quite wrap his head around. They're older - not married, unhappily, with kids sort of old, but enough that they're planning their next steps after Hawkins. Once more, they're in Steve's place, because his parents are out more and less... well, less like Billy's. They sit on his bed, and Steve stares off distantly, unsure how to approach the topic at hand.

College. He'd always hoped he'd go, but he'd never thought he'd actually make it. Now, with passing grades and more than one accepted application at hand, it's real, but it's worse than he's ever imagined. Because now, he's got a lot riding on it. Billy, to his left, has only applied to college (actually, only ever tried in school at all ever) in the hopes of finally leaving his dad, but he hadn't managed to get in anywhere. So, here, they sit solemly, until Billy bravely broaches the dreaded conversation.

"Steve," he speaks softer than normal, seeing how lost Steve looks. "Hey, it's not so bad. Come on, I mean, you won't be gone that long anyway, huh?"

Steve turns his gaze blankly to him, and mumbles, "It's a four year course."

Nodding once, Billy scans quickly over him, then shuffles a little closer, deciding to try another, more humorous pathway. "What do you thinks gonna happen, hey? You worried I'm gonna find some chick, move in with her and have a couple kids by the time you're back?" His laugh is loud - abrupt, and seems to be inappropriate against the quiet of the rest of the room.

"Don't mess around."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Billy lets himself grin at Steve, "You're going to go to college, get a degree, finally regain your title as Keg-King Harrington, and then you're going to come back to me."

The order doesn't seem the same coming from Billy as it does Neil. Neil never fails to hold his victim's gaze, and he ruins their confidence with his stare. Though phrased as a question, he doesn't let the other person feel as though they can say no. This time, however, with Billy, Steve doesn't even consider saying any such thing. How could he? Instead, another issue arises, and he can't stop his mouth voicing it.

"What if he kills you?"

"He won't." Billy replies, not missing a beat, not even needing to ponder what Steve meant. "And besides, I need to be here for Max, and Susan. It's not just me he takes it out on."

"I'm going to miss you." Steve finally allowed himself to admit. He realises that his previous hesitations, while legitimate, were a collective facade for him to hide behind. All along, he'd been afraid of telling Billy the truth - that, in amongst other trepidations and despite how they could really rub each other the wrong way, Steve knew he couldn't live without Billy.

Smiling, Billy looked into each of his eyes separately, then nodded in agreement. Even if he couldn't form the words himself, with them buried deep under his issues, he could feel their presence resonating within him, and instead his eyes fell to Steve's limp hand on the bed. Resisting for only a moment, Billy reached out slowly and threaded his fingers through Steve's, and sighed.

"I know." He said absently, then waited for Steve to pull away. He didn't. "But, as long as you come back to see me once in a while, I think we'll be alright."

He brought his eyes back up to Steve's, and beamed. There could have been a response. Steve could htsv said something - anything - but he didn't. And when he didn't, Billy squeezed his hand and didn't let go this time. Not for a long, long time, because they weren't afraid anymore. Not while they were together, intertwined. Never again.


End file.
